T.Bird on a Wire

Thursday Thirteen #2
July 27, 2006, 8:27 am
Filed under: Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen quotes from Erma Bombeck that I can relate to…

1. My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

2. Most children’s first words are “Mama” or “Daddy.” Mine were, “Do I have to use my own money?”

3. I remember buying a set of black plastic dishes once, after I saw an ad on television where they actually put a blowtorch to them and they emerged unscathed. Exactly one week after I bought them, one of the kids brought a dinner plate to me with a large crack in it. When I asked what happened to it, he said it hit a tree. I don’t want to talk about it.

4. My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?

5. Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you.

6. Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, “What light?” and two more to say, “I didn’t turn it on.”

7. Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. “Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?” Don’t you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?” Wasn’t there any change?”

8. Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

9. Every day of his or her life a child is plotting an event that will age you 20 years in 20 seconds.

10. I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go into overload and blow up.

11. Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

12. Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

13. Education is so important when it comes to domesticity. I don’t know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
(leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

1. Mary
2. Raggedy
3. Deb
4. MinTheGap
5. Carmen
6. KarenW
7. noladawn
8. MommyBa
9. Jenn
10. Meredith
11. Bev
12. Mysterious Lady
13. Lindsey
14. Stacy
15. Karen
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

18 Comments so far
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Hi again tbird! These Erma Bombeck’s were hilarious…great idea! I like #’s 5 & 6 the best!
This is my second week TTing…first at my new wordpress site. I’m heading to look at your pictures now! BTW, I’m so glad your site doesn’t take FOREVER to download like some of the other tt’ers…;o)

Comment by Mary

Awesome list! I really really enjoyed it!
Have a wonderful Thursday!
My TT is up

Comment by Raggedy

#4 is my mantra ;~)

Have a great Thursday!

Comment by deb

I love the one about it taking three children to turn off the light in the kitchen!

My TT’s up at http://www.minthegap.com/?p=600

Comment by MInTheGap

Ha! I love Erma Bombeck! She’s very wise. πŸ™‚

Comment by carmen

[…] 1. TBirdOnAWire […]

Pingback by Thirteen Things You Learn at VBS at MInTheGap

LOL! I can really relate! MY TT is up.

Comment by KarenW

How much I loved Erma!! #6 applies to everything in my house… the light, the glass still sitting on the table, the half eaten piece of granola bar on the couch… I could go on and on and on. πŸ™‚

Comment by noladawn

Lovely things to talk about! I learned a lot today reading your list; and of course it made me laugh and smile πŸ™‚

Comment by MommyBa

I love the first one…got a real kick out of that…LOL frankly sounded like me when I was a kid…and now my daughter “takes a shower” with out even getting her hair wet! ACK πŸ˜€

Happy Thursday! Ours is up too!

Comment by Jenn

I LOVE # 1!!!!! She’s a hilarious lady!!!

Comment by meredith

She was quite the lady. Loved reading your list. Cheers.

Comment by Bev

Loved Erma Bombeck! Miss her greatly. Wonderful woman. She died of End Stage Kidney disease. She did CAPD, dialysis at home for years before her death.

Happy Thursday!

Comment by Mysterious Lady

Erma is the Queen. Always and forever. Great list!

Comment by Jennifer

LOL, these are great! I’ve never heard of her, but she’s funny!

Happy TT!

Comment by Lindsey

These are so funny, I always loved her humor! Have seen several of these before, but many of them were new, thanks for the smiles today πŸ™‚

Love your banner, by the way, what a beautiful bird πŸ™‚

Have a wonderful day, my T13 is up too…

Comment by Stacy

I haven’t thought about Erma Bombeck in years. she was great. thanks for the list!

Comment by Karen

oh these had me in stitches

thank you for sharing them

Comment by purplemoongarden

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