Filed under: Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Steven Wright quotes:
1. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
2. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
3. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
4. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
5. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
6. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
7. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
8. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
9. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
10. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
11. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
12. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
13. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
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